Broke out the Beck book again last night for some re-reading.
It was helpful. Particularly the chapter about not giving in to temptation.
Several times tonight as I walked along in the cold, after a disappointing situation at work, I wanted to step inside a store and buy some wine. I just wanted one nice fruity red glass when I got home.
But ... one glass can lead to two. Or one glass can lead to eating extra food that I hadn't planned on eating.
So I said no to myself. Several times. Not tonight, I chanted. Not tonight.
Saturday night is my evening for a glass of wine, if I want one.
I am glad I dug up my Beck book again. I have some thoughts on this I'll post over the weekend.
Until then, here's the breakdown of the last two days (sorry if this is getting a little listy -- it's just where I need to be right now):
Both Wednesday and Thursday I walked to work (Wednesday in a post-snowstorm landscape wearing my new boots).
Thursday I got up and did my push-up routine. I'm up to two sets of seven. Seven! That's fourteen total with a 60-second break in between sets.
Wednesday I made it back to the gym at night for 20 minutes on the stairmaster. I didn't get in an extra workout tonight, which I'm kind of bummed about.
Wednesday I ate a little bit more than I meant to during the day, but I do think it actually helped me eat less at night. I got some sushi for lunch -- a sweet potato and asparagus roll, and a shrimp rice ball. Kinda small, both.
Four hours later I was hungry again -- very hungry, the shaky kind. I had 200 cals of veggie barley soup, and then a small bag of pretzels because I was still dealing with shakes.
A few hours later, on way to the gym, I realized I wasn't going to be able to workout without eating something else. I got a Kashi bar -- but not a small one, a fairly good-sized one, with about 290 cals. I kind of worried that it was too much. That's practically a meal!
However, it got me through the stairmaster, and when it came time to eat dinner, I was *not* as hungry as the night before, and consequently able to serve myself up a smaller portion.
Tonight, Thursday night, I got home pretty hungry and later than usual. I didn't have my afternoon snack because I was out on assignment. I ended up snacking a bit in the kitchen as I prepared dinner.
I tried to keep my dinner portion low to compensate -- so far, so good.
Thought of the day: I think it might be time to buy myself my own scale.
Wow -- that's a change for me. For a long time I've been too scared of the scale to own one. Even when I started this journey, I refused to weigh myself.
I went to a nutritionist and had her weigh me. I stood with my back facing the scale's face. It was just too depressing.
But the number is not so super scary high anymore. And I want it to go down even farther. And it might actually help me to take matters into my own hands.
It's possible I'd get up and weigh myself every day. Would that be bad?
I've always been told (and believed) it's better to weigh oneself once a week. But maybe if I see the number creeping up earlier, I can halt it sooner?
Deep thoughts and wisdom on this welcome.
February 20th, 2018 Certain Freedoms
20 hours ago