I Can't Smell Anything -- And It Almost Killed Me!

How's that for a tabloid headline?

Before I 'splain, let me remind you all that I'm suffering from YET ANOTHER bleedin' head cold.

OK, cutting to the chase.

Today, saints be blessed, I had a clean eating day. Faith and begorrah, it's been a long time.

Regular breakkie, with divine blueberries. Oh, they are so good, even though I know it's bad, bad, bad to buy them in winter.

Lunch was a hurried affair, kind of mashed in between phone calls and doing bizarre assignments that had me swiping metrocards at subway turnstiles for an hour.

But I stuck to my on-plan lunch: small leftovers of low-fat black bean chili and tempeh, with lots of mixed greens on top. To round it off, about 20 pecans for energy and protein.

It was about five hours later that things got funky.

I got hungry and knew I needed something. I went down to the cafe on the first floor and found a small half sandwich with arugula, tomato and black olives (210 cals). Then I grabbed a small cup of edamame hummus and carrot, celery and broccoli sticks. That was in case I ended up working really late. (150 cals)

When I got back to my desk, I decided to eat the edadmame hummus first, and save the sandwich for later, if need be.

I opened it up, but before I could dig in, the phone rang. While I was on the phone I noticed all my colleagues turning their heads around, and kind of looking over their shoulders and talking amongst themselves.

I hung up and said, what's going on? Something like that anyway. We all sit in a huge room -- no cubicles.

Everyone was like, what's that horrid smell? One colleague actually said, "It smells like death."

So while everyone is gasping for air and trying to find the source of this hideous odor, I pick up my edadame again and start eating. I get in one bite of carrot with edamame scooped on it and my friend knocks it out of my hand and screams "Don't eat that!"

Folks, it was RANCID beyond belief --- but I was the only one who couldn't smell it! And it almost killed me. Just from the small pea-size bit I ingested, I got a stomachache and queasiness.

Can you imagine if I had eaten it all? I would be dead! (Or wishing I were until the food poisoning passed).

Aarrgh. I shudder at how near I came to that terrible experience of your body trying to turn itself inside out to get rid of whatever poison you've eaten. Awful stuff.

So that was my drama for the day. And the good news is that when I marched the offending edamame back down to the cafe, outrage oozing from my every pore, the manager waved her hand at their well-stocked shelves and said: choose anything you want.

Oh boy. You know what I could have done with that unexpected bonanza -- cookies, brownies, chips, candy bars.

I took a peach low-fat fage yogurt and a bottle of water. Then I put the yogurt in the fridge upstairs because I was no longer hungry. I can eat it tomorrow if I want it.

Home tonight for a low-fat dinner of cous cous and tempeh and veggies. Stomach is just fine.

That's as close to normal as an eating day can get for me (edadmame madness aside), so I'm pretty pleased.

Now if I can get back in the workouts -- easier when this cold goes -- I'll be just fine.

Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, I did manage to send the vegan tea cake to work with the B/F, but I must confess that I took a big bite first. I just had to taste it.