It's relatively minor, but still .... better than the alternative.
I did finally stop loafing about yesterday and put in three hours of prep work toward my freelance project. That's not a ton, but it's always hardest to get started. There are lots of details to get sorted, and research to organize before the writing can begin.
Then I simply had to go and close my eyes for a few minutes. This cold is really taking it out of me. Of course I fell asleep, and if someone hadn't called and woken me up a few hours later, I think I might have slept the whole night through! Probably I'd have woken up at like 2 or 3 am and been furious at myself.
This morning we were up and out early, in part to make room for our bi-monthly cleaning lady (I try to clean, really I do, but there are just things that she does way better than me and I hate a dirty house, so I caved in a few months ago and hired her). We took advantage of my not having to be at work to have a quick breakfast together.
It had been a long time since the BF and I sat face to face over eggs and toast in a New York deli. For obvious reasons (financial and dietary) we rarely do that sort of thing anymore.
Kind of romantic. Like we were dating again. Plus, the BF did the unexpected and instead of sitting across the table from me, in the busy NYer way, slid me over so I was next to him on the wall banquette. Awwww. Like we were in Paris, almost!
It is nice to be face to face with your darling, and it's doubly nice to be tucked in next to them, sharing some personal space. It was a sweet and cozy breakfast.
I hadn't planned out what to eat beforehand but when the waitress stopped by I didn't allow myself even a second to dither. I also purposely avoided the menu -- no flapjacks for me, thanks.
"Coffee, wheat toast, no butter, two poached eggs with no butter, and raw tomatoes on the side please instead of homefries," I said. There -- that was handled. And there's nothing I love more than a piece of crisp toast with fresh tomato on it, covered with a warm egg after I pierce the yolk.
It's my version of the traditional British fry up my Nana used to make for us, which had black beans on top of everything else, and of course some big ol' bangers (sausages). She did throw in tomatoes too, but they were fried in the leftover sausage fat. It never ceased to amaze me that my Nana never gained weight (she wasn't 'skinny,' but she definitely wasn't fat). But then again, her idea of a portion was about a third of what mine is (er..was, I mean).
I'm back home now and about to get to work again. I do feel like I could use another nap, but it will have to wait.
This reminds me of what my life was like when I used to freelance almost full-time. I ate a lot -- A LOT -- just to keep myself sitting at my computer working. It takes tremendous self-discipline and energy to do the work, and be creative with it. And often I just didn't have the ooomph (I thought) to get it done without giving myself a carrot, so to speak. But it was never an actual carrot -- often bags of chips (big ones), take-out and delivery diner food, lots of Indian delivery, and so on. Anything that would keep me nailed to the machine and producing. I would lull myself into writing with a few bites of this and a few bites of that, then write a few more lines, nibble some more, and before long, everything was gone.
I would say I put on a good portion of my current extra weight during that two year time frame -- and it's taken me about 5 years since then to start losing it. Ugh. Not anything I want to repeat.
I'll keep this in mind as I push through this project over the next few days. Luckily this is now an occasional occurrence for me and not a lifestyle. As much as I often dream of being able to work from home, I'm quite unconvinced that it would work for me -- I think I would eat my way through the day far too often.
No gym yet, still too stuffy and it's hard to breathe deeply (lungs hurt) but did walk about 10 blocks after breakkie. That's not much, only half a mile, but it was something.
January 15th, 2018 A Different Story
14 hours ago