Standing Firm

Running out the door, but a brief recap:

Thanks to everyone for the support yesterday. Really needed some help balancing out my sudden rush of negativity and frustration.

So, the mother-in-law (a/k/a MIL) situation is this: we're dealing with some complete *&$*)#(@@ credit card company that harangued the mother-in-law endlessly a few years ago -- when her dementia was more moderate -- and got her one day to sign up for some deal or something when nobody was home to block the call.

Nobody knew about it, she often hides mail and things, we noticed a sudden uptick in very aggressive collection calls from some firm, but they refused to talk to us, only very nastily said they had to talk to the MIL even when we told them repeatedly she has Alzheimers. They went away and we forgot about it.

Well, those %**#@)&$#*##'s went to court, did not explain her situation to the judge, probably sent us something in the mail that we never saw, and got a court order to take $2,714 from her account.

Except they took over $3,300 -- everything she had just gotten from her pension and SS payments -- and wiped her out for the month. They left $19. How is she to pay her rent? Buy food? Medication?

I.am.livid. LIVID!

Question: when you don't eat to cover up intense emotions, where do the emotions go?

I have had anger pouring out of me for the past 24 hours and I guess I'm a little shocked because maybe I'm not used to feeling my intense emotions this intensely, if you know what I mean. It's a weird sensation to feel like you are 100 percent molten lava because you are so boiling mad.

The good news: SOD took pity on me and let me keep holding my loss so far for the week. Despite my intense rage yesterday it never occurred to me to eat, overeat or indulge myself as a way to handle my anger.

I did briefly get a big craving for a glass of wine around 6pm, but brushed it aside.

I didn't get to the gym because the vet had to come after work to see to the cat -- but even though I took the morning off to make phone calls and try to figure out what had happened with the bank, I still walked to work.

That was a biggie, because I was already late -- had alerted my boss but it always gives me anxiety to be late for work -- and so furious I didn't know what to do with myself. But I figured I was already late, so I might as well take the extra hour and walk.

Thank goodness -- it made me feel so much better.

Today is rough. Up early to go to a court (in another state, no less, where MIL lives) and appeal to a judge to stop this motion and return her money. Hope to be in and out very early and back at work as soon as poss.

No time to workout this morning or walk to work, but will try to fit it in later. Otherwise, strict weight loss portions today!