You Make Me Promises, Promises....

Why do I belieeeeevveee?

Anyone else remember that song? Naked Eyes, from sometime in the 1980s. In this case, nobody's made me any promises other than those I've made to myself. And I've been keeping them, although SOD is not cooperating.

Up four pounds this morning. I would get upset and feel thwarted and angry and all that jazz, but I am too tired to really react all that much, and also -- gotta tell it like it is -- it's not unexpected.

My workouts haven't been as regular or intense, due to MIL visits/planning, etc. My eating has been spot on for maybe four or three of every seven days -- and then it's been ok but not great for the rest. That's not exactly a winning ratio, is it?

After a Saturday night meal with my friend whose Grandma passed away, consisting of cheese, crackers, wine, homemade coq au vin and chocolate cake for dessert .... well, really, what would one expect the SOD to do but bounce up?

So, let's just take a deep breath, focus on the fact that I have NOT been binging in spite of great stress, I am still walking to work/home from work every chance I get, and if I am STILL, STILL, STILL, gaining and losing and gaining and losing the same 6 to 8 lbs that I was eight months ago, well (another deep breath here), that's ok too.

At least I haven't gained back a huge amount.

The SOD is a deceptive little bugger, and all week as I've walked and walked and walked my pants have loosened a little more. The body's changing, even if SOD remains, as always, an arbitrary and unforgiving Dark God.

On another note, every day as I've walked to work and passed row after row of vibrant blue flowers, and trundled underneath spraying pink cherry blossoms, I've promised myself to remember the camera so I can take pictures to share with you.

It's so beautiful! So I promise some Central Park pictures in the very near future.

And also, possibly one of my new breakfast, which I've further refined by adding spinach leaves to it. When you line up the tomatoes, spinach, egg and cheese it's dang purty, I can tell you that.

An Irish Proverb

-A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.-

I'm still waiting on the good laugh, but I did get a long sleep. I had to have a nap today and I really fell down the rabbit hole. Completely knocked out, totally unaware of time, space, everything. A rare kind of sleep. I needed it, I guess.


I'm so sad this week for my friend who lost her Grandma. Like my beloved Nana, my friend's Grandma came over from another country to give her children a chance at a better life.

We can never thank them enough for what they endured for us. It was not easy to leave everything behind for new, unknown worlds. Bless them, for they took great chances.

I worked an extra day this week to get some additional cash -- sorely needed. That meant no big workout on Sunday, and I missed it. Plus no real weekend for myself, since we got up early today to go to the B/F's mother's house. It's a drive, so we had to rent a car. He had to be at work by noon, so we had to get up early to get there early to meet with a geriatric care manager, and then get him back to NYC for work.

It's going to cost us a lot of money, but the geriatric care manager knows how to navigate all the health care systems that have us stymied. Who knew his mom was eligible for a monthly veteran's supplement because her deceased husband served in WWII? He was a little 16-year-old who lied about his age -- how he fooled recruiters I'll never know, since he was the tiniest little boy. But they took him, probably out of desperation, and he was sent to Japan to fight.

So now she is eligible, thank goodness for up to $1,500 a month in supplemental health care, and it is sorely needed.

We hope to have her settled in a facility near to us. Today for the first day I allowed myself to dream of the day when the B/F can wake up on a Sunday morning and take his mother to church. They would love it, the two of them, and it would mean so much. I hope that vision comes true.

So right now I'm in the spot where I seem to be taking care of everyone but myself.

I'm trying so hard to keep my needs in the mix. But it's not easy.

Didn't have much breakfast today, so when we got back home I made sure to eat something before I went shopping for the week. If I had not eaten, it would have been bad. I would have wanted all sorts of things.

Tonight, made dinner at home. Tempeh with purple cabbage, onions, broccoli and chopped peppers. Check out my wok! I love it.