The Sickness

Over the past two weeks I have been dogged by a nagging, uncomfortable question that keeps getting ever-more insistent even though I try to ignore it and make it go away:

Is it possible I'm not as healthy as I think I am?

That would be an awful blow to my ego! You see, I do like to think of myself as very hale and hearty, despite carrying around a sizable amount of extra chub.

But recent events really have me wondering. Why am I so susceptible to these awful colds? Am I, perhaps, congenitally weak?

I can't stand the thought! Yet I fear it might be so. I'm terribly prone to nasty colds and respiratory infections. And I hate it, and it makes me frustrated and angry.

Of course, if that's the biggest health issue I ever have to grapple with in my life, well... I'd consider myself blessed beyond measure. So, all things are relative.

Slowly, slowly pulling myself together. After a bump in energy mid-week -- celebrated with a 3-mile walk -- I fell down the rabbit hole again and my condition worsened.

My eating was good up until Thursday night. Since then, well...nothing terrible, but I've given in to the desire to eat more than I need to feel full a couple of times.

This is not good: I have come to understand that portion control is a big factor for me in weight loss. I really only do my best when I focus on how much I'm eating and employ my Beck techniques to consume slowly and recognize when I'm full and set the fork down.

I suspect this is the key to long-term weight control for me, as well.

I have to accept that while no food is off limits -- if I plan for it and it's what I want to eat -- it's just never acceptable to overeat. Really...what is the point?

Enough is as good as a feast, as the old saying goes.

Overeating has not made me feel better, hasn't made my sickness go away any faster and ultimately just leaves me bloated, uncomfortable and unhappy.

Starting today, right now, I have to stop this trend of having soup AND a sandwich, or crackers and cheese AND a hearty dinner, like I did last night.

It's not helping me. Not helping at all.