Still Kicking

Not literally, because of those darned neuromas, but... metaphorically, don't you know.

So, my bloggie friends, I have changed jobs. It's been brutal. Because change..well. You know. It's change. Not slow, bloody-takes-forever weight-loss change, but one-week-you-are-here-and-now-you-are-not change.

It's been hard. My job has dominated my life for the past five years and I will admit that without it I am somewhat...er, at loose ends. I wish I could say I'd filled that void with constant exercise, but that would not be the truth.

However, I have been forging ahead, in spite of myself. There is a great yoga studio just one block from my office. Now, I'll tell you a secret: I don't really like yoga. I like to say that I do, and I get great pleasure from thinking about yoga, and going online to look at yoga classes, and generally pretending to myself that I am a yoga lover.

But when I get to the classes, I'm always the biggest, sweatiest person present, and the poses f***ing hurt sometimes, and my arms and legs shake in the most embarrassing way.

But I'll be darned if I haven't developed an appreciation for the classes at Yoganesh, my sore knees aside. It's pretty darn awesome.

I'll try to come back soon. But if I'm MIA for awhile again, it's just because I'm trying desperately to forge a new path for myself outside my chosen profession. I'll adjust, but it will take a some time. Meanwhile, the damn neuromas are still making my life a misery. Can't stand 'em.

The Long and Winding Road..

leads to the cupboard, apparently. I'm back after a crazy few weeks in which M and I did what was meant to be a brief vacation in Virginia with his family, then a brief vacation with my family near Miami, and then returned home in time for 9/11.

Due to factors beyond my control -- an older relative suffering a fall and breaking a hip -- things went topsy turvy and we've been running hither and yon for what feels like forever!

In the middle of this was 9/11 to negotiate -- always a bit tricky -- and the usual life choices and challenges.

I'm struggling to pick up the exercise where I left off, but am fairly deflated and depressed by ongoing irritation in both feet. Apparently my Morton's neuroma is not gone and likely will never be gone. It stopped bothering me for a long while -- but of course, I'd stopped walking/running almost entirely. Not my usual dashing around during the day, but my prolonged walks for, you know, weight loss and everything. But the minute I tried to do longer than a mile, BOOM, the pain and irritation came right back. Ditto when I tried a short run, and ditto on the elliptical, which despite being low-impact seems to bother my feets. Dammit all to Hades!

Am clinging to a mantra of "reframe, reframe, reframe" because otherwise I will slide down into a deep pit of despair. When really I shouldn't, because I've gotten through some really tough moments without throwing caution and good habit to the wind and chowing down.

I'll get more into details later, but let me just say I got invited to a down home BBQ in Virginia and it was everything you'd think it would be and I left marveling at the fact that there are ANY people down South who aren't 500 lbs.