Footsore

Had to wear some "nice" shoes yesterday (ie, ones with slight heels). Oohhhhhhhhh, my neuroma is killing me today, in both feet!

If I could pick between gallbladder removal and neuroma, I'd take the gall bladder, even though it requires surgery. It really hurts to have these darned pinched nerves in my feet, and it means no running, and -- for at least a few days -- no walking either. I've got to calm these inflamed nerves down.

I don't know what I did to deserve this rash of bad luck (and yet, things could be far, far worse, so I won't whine too much) but I'm definitely in a phase of things going wrong that make it harder to lose weight.

My plan was to walk to work today since I won't get a workout tonight, but as I sit here -- having taken no more than few steps at home in my nice, supportive Japanese flip flops -- my left foot is throbbing. No 3.5 mile walk today.

It may be time to revisit the foot doc and see if my orthotics need adjusting. Crap! This is not the result I wanted from my fancy new inserts.

Fed Up

Am very tired of cottage cheese and non-fat yogurt. I'm still pouring it down the ol' gullet these days, but it has gotten old. Very old.

Surgery is the 23rd. In brief, I am happy with my surgeon, my second opinion doc (who I also love) gave it to me no-nonsense and straight between the eyes ..("You won't make it another 60 years with this gall bladder, I guarantee it, so do it now while you are relatively young and healthy..) and he was very impressed when I told him my surgeon's name. So, all things considered, I'm doing ok.

I had to go shopping today for clothes, however, and dragged M along for a critical eye. Folks... despite losing about 60 lbs, shopping is still a horror.

We saw a really cool blue sweater with a white stripe down it (sounds weird, but it looks good), but when I put it on... it was kind of small and it seemed to show an extra bulge in my upper stomach. Not my lower stomach, which is... well, what it is. But my UPPER stomach too. In short, I was a roll factory.

Depression ensued, with much stomping of feet and frustration. Boyfriend calmly pointed out that I was being unreasonable to expect a major shift of weight from just a few weeks of eating cottage cheese (especially when I hadn't worked out a lot and I am still consuming a healthy amount of calories). Damn, I hate it when he is right.

To the gym I went, to lift weights and -- finally -- return to running. It hurt my neuroma, sad to say. I had to quit after 20 minutes. But in that 20 minutes, I ran my little heart out and it felt good.

Earlier in the week I'd made time to go to my nearby park and run up and down the stairs (about 40 steps, not too steep) six times, and do a set of push ups at the top for four out of the six tries.

I'll keep doing it. I was sore for several days after.

Goal: lose 5 lbs a month. Doesn't sound like much, but I counted up. If I can stick to that, I'll be very close to goal by the end of this year. That means getting back on the scale. Oh lordy... not sure I'm ready for that, but if not now, when?