Bragging Rights

Bad news first: according to the SOD, I gained three pounds overnight.

However, since I know I did not consume 3,500 calories x 3 in 24 hours, I'm basically ignoring the scale reading from this morning. Sod off, SOD.

Please indulge me for a minute and let me brag about how delicious, truly, truly, delicious, my salade nicoise was Tuesday night.

I got the recipe off the web (bien sur) at epicurious.com, and it was a basic nicoise salad, but the vinaigrette was made with champagne vinegar.

So, in a nutshell, I left work late, but decided I had to walk from 47th St to 96th St to the Whole Foods to get in extra exercise (I also walked to work that morning). It took me about 45 minutes, I ran in and out of Whole Foods after buying basil, french bread (small loaf), nicoise olives, small potatoes and green beans, and some very expensive tuna steak (wow -- I had no idea it cost that much).

Ran home to discover BF stuck at work, so I had to clean apt, then quickly get the potatoes and eggs into boiling water.

I worked up quite a sweat, I can say that.

Boiled the potatoes, eggs, and green beans. Let them sit at room temp when done.

Then I made the bruschetta appetizer -- the same recipe I used for my super bowl party. So delicious. Everybody loved it.

When we were ready for the main meal, I went back to the kitchen and put some olive oil in our wok, then seared up that tuna.

Tossed the eggs, potatoes and green beans with shredded butter lettuce (yum, that's good lettuce), threw in tomato wedges and a few nicoise olives, then coated it all with the champagne vinegar vinaigrette (basically dijon mustard, the vinegar, a shallot, salt, pepper and olive oil whisked together).

The cooked pieces of tuna steak on top, and we were done.

And oh my oh my oh my, was it good. I'm sure that vinaigrette made the dish, and also had all the calories. Nearly 1 cup of olive oil -- next time I'm going to find a way to minimize that.

The bruschetta is pretty low-cal, I think, because I don't use any olive oil in the tomato mixture and just lightly brush the bread before toasting. But it's certainly not without calories, so I really tried to keep myself from indulging too much.

There's something so lovely about putting together a truly fantastic meal that everyone enjoys and doesn't make you feel like you are doing something "wrong."

Even my boyfriend -- who didn't for a minute want to eat salade nicoise but was too polite to kick up a fuss in front of company -- admitted that it was a spectacular meal.

Ok, so enough about the food. It was also a great night just in terms of enjoying my friends.

Wednesday morning I got up, saw I'd "gained" three pounds, logged it in physicsdiet.com, and walked to work.

Had a biz lunch today at a steakhouse -- got a greek salad, avoided the rest of the menu. No bread.

Trail mix at 4pm. 180 cals

Soy chips at 6 pm. 130 cals.

Walked home again.

Quinoa and beans for dinner, trying not to eat too much. I think I survived this day without a post party binge.

Tomorrow is the BF dinner. Special surprise for him at Lincoln Center; we're meeting there at 6:30. He's going to be floored.

First Week of Physicsdiet.com

Thanks to Andrew's tip, I think I may have gotten over my scale phobia -- or am close to it, anyway.

I've been using Physicsdiet.com, an online place to go and log your daily weight. Based on your figures, the program gives you an "average" loss or gain for the week. (Hopefully a loss.)

Here's what I've found so far:

1) The fluctuations are startling sometimes, and even heartbreaking (like when the scale does way down one day and then back up the next).

2)You have to be able to shrug off the fluctuations, and focus more on your behaviors if you don't want to go crazy. This is a good thing -- it minimizes the scale's importance, but still recognizes it as a helpful tool.

3) Knowing I'm getting on the scale the next morning has helped reinvigorate that layer of watchfulness I've been missing for the past several months. I've looked at some snacks/bites over the past few days and thought, 'I'd better not eat that. It'll show up on the scale tomorrow.'

4) I have to guard against relaxed eating on the days the scale seems to magically bounce downward, ie 'oh, my weight was so low this morning, I can eat that burger for lunch!'

Yesterday my eating was not good. I didn't get breakfast, got way too hungry by noon, had a spicy shrimp sushi roll, then walked to meet some friends, who after strolling for a while wanted to stop and get lunch.

I wasn't all that hungry and probably shouldn't have eaten.

I got lentil soup, which was very good. It came with toasted pita points. I ate three too many (one would have been enough).

For some reason, that lunch threw me off. I looked at my two friends, in from Europe, neither 'skinny' but both normal weight. One of them had ordered a plate of hummus, which wasn't huge but was a nice mound, and immediately said she wouldn't be able to eat it all.

In fact, she didn't - not quite. And that was all she had, with pita too. She ate slowly and methodically, and when done declared herself really stuffed. The other friend got a chicken curry salad (I almost got that but was glad I didn't because it had a lot of mayo, turns out). She ate it, with some bread, and was done too. What I envied was their ease about it -- they didn't seem tortured, or worried, or even unhappy. They weren't forcing themselves to eat something they didn't really want because it was the "good" choice.

I left the lunch a little depressed, probably because I had eaten when I didn't really need to. And maybe I was off because of the weird no breakfast in the morning (I like breakfast and need to eat it).

I had struggled to find something on the menu that I would like and wouldn't feel like a punishment to eat. My two friends had very easily and with real pleasure zeroed in on yummy but healthy choices and really enjoyed them. I liked my lentil soup, but struggled with guilt the whole time.

"Should I be eating this?" I kept wondering, as I spooned up one of three pieces of potato in the broth.

As the funk of food depression descended upon me, I was in danger of really screwing up later in Whole Foods as I hovered near the vegan desserts.

Luckily, a disaster was averted and I found time to get to the gym yesterday evening. That was a very good thing. Go endorphins!

Goal today: eat light, workout at gym and walk to work, and be careful at dinner. Friends are coming over, and I'm planning to serve a hearty and healthy nicoise salad.